The Right Person Is..??

If true love is so important to everyone,
then why is that we have so many issues on finding it?
I know, we fear rejection, want attention,
crave affection, and dream of perfection..
But in the end, Life is what happens,
when you’re so busy making other plans…

True love is not easy, they’re hard work. It’s about compromise, growing together, etc, etc. But if it’s the right person, then it’s easy. Looking at that girl and knowing she’s all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world, right?

I know the odds are, the love of my life isn’t gonna magically walk through that door. I’m the only one with the power to change my life. I’m the only one who can attract a woman to me. I cannot stand by idly waiting for a woman to come along and sweep me off my feet. It’s not her job to do so.

But, how do we know about “the right person”? Because, as far as I concerned, It’s not always easy to see someone’s true colors. Sometimes, we must look beneath the feminine spell to find that fragile ego. Ignore the sparkle of the jewel, bring the truth out of the shadows, to see the real beauty of her smile..

Besides that, true love doesn’t happen right away, it’s an ever-growing process. It’s like Engineering, It has phase for “developing”. There is Issued for Internal Review, Issued for Approval, Issued for Design, and Issued for Construction..

The Real Truths..

You see, we shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in someone’s life. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. On the other hand, if someone wants to be a part of your life, they’ll also make an effort to be in it. It’s just stupid to insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth, because if they know your worth, they will create a space for you.

But, somehow, I don’t know what a privilege it is to grow old with someone, who doesn’t drive me “insane”, or doesn’t humiliate me beyond repair. But, the thing is, it’s about two people being true to each other, even when they are separated in distance. I mean, remaining faithful is never an option, but a priority. Loyalty is everything.

The Lesson From Past Relationships

What we crave most in this world is connection..
Fate working its magic, and, that’s great.
But that’s not the way it really works..
It’s complicated, it’s messy..
It’s about horrible timing & fumbled opportunities..
And not being able to say, what you need to say,
when you need to say it..
At least, that’s the way it WAS for me..

Everyone has their own story & gone through something, including on romance part. You see, each relationship is a reflection of ourselves (whether good or bad). Subconsciously, it’s a reflection of our deepest insecurities and needs. And when I really take the time to reflect the good or bad times, clear all the baggage, it is a window into my soul.

As far as I understand, all successful relationships require some work. They don’t just happen, or maintain themselves. They exist and thrive when both parties want to take the risk of sharing what it is that’s going on in their minds and hearts. Yup, open communication & honesty is fundamentals.

When I look to my past, I can easily identify the pattern of problematic relationship. I think, they are common relationship problems that makes why many romantic partnerships do not work out. Here’s the thing that I can write for now, and also some lesson its moving-on.

Best Quotes “How I Met Your Mother”

Man, when I have kids,
and I’ll tell them how I met their mother,
I’m gonna tell them everything, the whole damn story..
(~Ted)

Wow, this is my 100th post finally. I am still amazed at how far my personal page have been developed, which began with such humble expectations. To be honest, I’m writing here during my spare  alone time. Looking at back about posts that I’ve written, the more I realized how much my self has changed.

Usually, the tradition is “list 100 things about you”, but I have different opinion. I just want to write the quotes from my favorite Serial TV, where I grow up around them since three years ago. Those quotes are so related to me, and little bit also describe “things about me”. And, this quote from “How I Met Your Mother”, marks my 100th post. If you watched this Serial TV, you’ll know which scene from these quotes below.

About Love of My Life
Look, I know that odds are, the love of my life isn’t gonna magically walk through that door.. But, this seems as nice a spot as any to just, you know, sit and wait for a while, preparing myself at the same time.. (~Ted)

It just felt nice actually. Where we can sit together just the two of us, and have a good casual conversation, with no intention of hidden “agenda”.. (~Ted to Robin)

Okay, I’m gonna say something out loud that I’ve been doing a pretty good job of not saying out loud lately. I’ve seen two people’s in love and really connected, and what I know what they had, I want that.. I do… I keep waiting for it to happen, and waiting for it to happen, and…I guess I’m just, um… I’m tired of waiting.. And that is all I’m going to say on that subject.. (~Ted)

I know that you’re tired of waiting, and you may have to wait a little while more, but she’s on her way, Ted. And she’s getting here as fast as she can.. (~Stella advise Ted)

I took a long walk that night. I thought about how opening myself up to another person usually means opening myself up to going a little crazy. I thought about how much easier it was just to be alone… (~Robin)

When it comes to love, the best relationships are the ones that just come naturally. I think that’s how it’s supposed to be. Have natural fun, and easy, and simple or uncomplicated. Because at some level, with the right person it has just to be easy. Looking at that girl and knowing she’s all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world… (~Ted)

25 Years Old, The Beginning of Reality

What makes a man who he is?
Is it the worst things he’s ever done,
or the best things he’s trying so hard to be?
(~Taken)

I’m officially 25 years old, and suddenly, life is not so cool anymore. There’s some part of me that cringe as I approach this age. This milestone tend to get me thinking a lot & heavy, where I have to analyze every aspect, and surely on real-based. I know, who we are today is reflection about what we’ve done in the past, and who we are in the future is based on what we’ve done & decided today, right?

As I grow older, there are a lot of good moments happened in life, and they make life worth living. But the problem is, moments pass, and lurking around the corner from those moments is a cruel, named reality. I know it may sound stupid, but I didn’t always feel so great about myself growing up. But, It’s time to let go of the fantasies, It’s time to living in reality.

Where is it going? Who I’m gonna be in 10-15 years more? Where is place that I have to settle? What should I have done differently? Am I really happy with my life? Etc, and etc.. Then I start thinking about all the things in life that I haven’t done yet too.

Maybe this doesn’t happen to everyone, but it certainly happened to me. Because honestly, I really don’t want to just living life as if I had no choices, just like ” let the chips fall where they may”. But the problem is, some “fantasy” involved. As I reach 25, I really have to “delete” the fantasy part. Truth is, it’s quite scary.

Dan Hill – Sometimes When We Touch

And who am I to judge you on what you say or do?
I’m only just beginning to see the real you..
I’m just another writer still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter still trapped within my youth..

It’s September already. And well, soon, my age will be a quarter-century old. For sure, “this subject” is becoming more and more appear to the surface on my life. I’ve listened this song for quite a while, mainly because how much it’s related with me, especially for now. The lyrics, melody, & its harmony speak for itself, and really touches me, deeply.

For me, this song it’s not about “romantic-girlie song”. When I’m really listened to it, understand the lyrics, words & meaning behind the song, then I can see why many people actually played this song at their wedding.

For me, this song is about a man that struggling with his feelings for a woman.  He faced a moral battle between his heart & his mind. He has deep, truthful & hidden love that wants to be shared, felt, & received.

On one hand, he wants to say he loves her but he knows that he’s not yet able to give her “a secure life”, that could hurt her someday. At times, he thinks they can be just friends, while prepare everything to make her “a luckiest woman”, even that romantic feelings flares when they met. He just wants to be responsible for his feelings but still he’s afraid & confused, and yet he wish to be with her forever.

The song meaning is deep, gentle and honest for me. I don’t know, maybe in love & life itself, there’s so many things that have to not go right, before we get it right.

Jodoh? Apakah Itu?

Seiring bertambahnya usia, keinginan untuk bertemu pasangan jiwa makin lama makin menguat, dan mulailah aku meraba bagian hidup yang satu ini. Walaupun, aku sendiri belum tahu sama sekali tentang kapan, dengan siapa, dan di mana.

Seorang kakak mengirimkanku artikel sederhana ini (Jazakillah Uni, saya edit yak, he3).. Sungguh, benar-benar membuatku merenung tentang keadaan diriku sendiri. Akankah aku kelak mampu membangun keluarga SaMaWa seperti yang sering didengung-dengungkan?

Ingin rasanya saya bertanya pada teman-teman seusia yang baru saja menikah. Bagaimana mereka mampu mengambil keputusan terbesar dalam hidup tsb? Karena ingin menggenapkan separuh agama? Karena perasaan cinta pada seseorangkah? Karena sudah punya penghasilan tetapkah? Karena sudah punya rumahkah? Karena jiwa yang memang sudah dewasakah? Atau, mungkin karena sudah sangat merasa kesepian? Atau karena memang sudah jodoh?

Jodoh…Serasa ringan diucap, tapi rumit dalam realita. Apalagi jika sudah berbicara tentang kriteria calon idaman. Pada awalnya, kriteria calon hanya menjadi ‘bagian masalah’, namun kemudian justru menjadi inti permasalahan itu sendiri.

“Met, banyak orang merintih, menghiba dalam doa, dan menuntut kemurahan Allah. Namun prestasi terbaik mereka hanya sebatas menuntut, tidak tampak bukti kesungguhan untuk menjemput kehidupan rumah tangga.”

“Kehidupan berkeluarga adalah arena perjuangan, penuh liku dan ujian, dibutuhkan napas kesabaran panjang, kadang kegetiran mampir susul-menyusul. Jangan hanya siap menjadi raja atau ratu, tapi tidak pernah menyiapkan diri untuk berjuang membina keluarga.” (Begitu nasehat yang ada di artikel tsb)

Kehidupan keluarga tidak berbeda dengan kehidupan individu, hanya dalam soal ujian dan beban jauh lebih berat. “Met, jika kamu sekarang masih single, lalu dibuai penyakit malas, mengeluh, nyantai, trus, keluarga seperti apa yang akan kamu bangun kelak?” Astaghfirullah, benar-benar tertusuk dalam rasanya hati ini disuguhi pertanyaan itu.

“Ketika sifat kedewasaan telah menjadi jiwa, jodoh itu akan datang tanpa harus dirintihkan. Kala itu hati seseorang telah bulat utuh, siap menerima realita kehidupan rumah tangga, manis atau getirnya, dengan lapang dada..”

Jangan lagi bertanya, “Mana jodohku?” Namun bertanyalah, “Sudah dewasakah aku?”

Untuk sekarang, aku menjawab belum. Masih banyak hal yang perlu diperbaiki. Masih perlu banyak ikhtiar yang harus gigih ku lakukan untuk berjuang mempersiapkan diri, memperbaiki hati, dan menggapai mimpi…” Ya Allah, kuatkan aku..

Types of Women I Can’t Stand

First of all, it’s not exactly black & white. Keep in mind that many women may show some traits from more than one category listed below and still be great girlfriend material. After all, it’s not exactly news that women tend to be more emotional than men.

Here is the the personality types of woman that I can’t stand :

Agony “Aunt”
There are some women who constantly feel they are an ‘advisory person’. They feel it is their business to hear out the whines of everyone and suggest suitable solutions. They’re so deeply involved in this “part-time” job that they inadvertently sound like they are advising you as well. Nobody wants to date a mom, you know..

Miss “Sharp” Mouth
Any conversation will end-up with two or three words that “too mean”. Her manner is really frustrating. She isn’t concerned at all if they hurt you or anybody else. If you manage to make it through one hour of listening to her manner on talk, mean you can survive on anything.

Miss Needy / Miss Insecure
This woman seems great at the start, because she’s very nice. Then, soon, she’s calling you 10 times a day, asking to see “where the relationship is going,” or she’ll ask you if you still love her about a thousand times. She’s clingy, needy and compulsively agonizes that she thinks that you’re going to leave her at any moment for another girl.

Let’s face it: If you can’t have a little independence in relationship, it’s never going to last. Unless, of course, you’re also needy.

Drama Queen
In particular, her hobby is to dramatize about absolutely everything. Small things are easily been blown out of proportion. She talks like everything is “tragedy”. If you advise her, then she felt been judged. If you just silence, she thought you didn’t care. During her “drama movies”, you can see that her sense of logic is out of whack. Unless you’re into lots of drama and screaming.

Miss Elusive
She is usually one of the “walking wounded” — someone who has been hurt in past relationships and so subconsciously sabotages new relationships in the present. Your association with her will be one of utter frustration, she shows great interest in you, but very quickly runs away, then repeats this cycle over and over again.

Miss Desperate
Maybe because she felt really lonely. So, Miss Desperate wants to have boyfriend right now. She doesn’t care who the guy is, or what he does, didn’t need to go for “knowing each other” phase, as long as she can got boyfriend right now. It can be felt really creepy pretty fast.

Miss “Princess”
The Princess is high maintenance girl. She is entirely focused on herself. She needs to be the constant center of attention. She is a self-serving narcissist who was raised as “daddy’s little girl,” and expects the same from you. She will constantly keep you busy taking care of her every need. And Princess absolutely has no idea that real life consists of paying bills and cleaning toilets.

Miss Controlling
She is a subtly nasty one who will wind up directing every phase of your life. She will tell you what to wear, where to go, who to talk to, what friends you can have, what you can eat — everything. And if you try to stand up for yourself, she will cry, scream, pout, or use any other deceptive female “tactic” until you give in and succumb to her demands.

Miss Worker Bee
If you are buzzing nineteen to a dozen only about the presentations you have to make for the boss, deadlines, colleagues, HR head and the office janitor – it’s obvious you have nothing else to talk about. A man may want to know about your interests, your views on him, and more, but you prefer to hide behind ‘work’ all the time. If you want a man, any man actually, please get a life first.

“That” Subject..

 

When you’ve already grown-up,
have graduated from college & have a stable job,
then, things such as love, serious relationship, and (even) marriage,
slowly starting to appear on the surface that hard to be ignored..

You know, When you’re single, and your friends or people that closed on your life start to get married, every wedding invitation presents a strange moment of self-evaluation. What it’s really asking is, “Where do you see yourself..??” The thing is, at this age, love is not supposed for just another “trial & error”, it just has to be really, really “right”, I mean, “the one”. And, to get that, it’s hard, honestly..

Well, I know relationships aren’t easy, they’re “hard work”. It’s about compromise, growing together, and other crap list continued. But if it’s the right person, then it’s gonna be just easy. Looking at her and knowing she’s all I really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world. Because, the best relationships are the ones that just come naturally. Have natural fun, easy, and simple, or uncomplicated. And, if it’s not like that, then it’s just not meant to be..

Because, if it’s too complicated, maybe it means that we don’t connect on fundamental levels. Then, of course there will be “break-up” & “drama” phase. And funny thing about break-up, there is no good way. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to do the right thing for break-up, there is always one side that have to face & deal with “humiliation”..

The point is, I’ve felt enough for “trial & error” phase. Because, I think I don’t want to just wasting my time, my energy, and of course my heart, to a girl that literally will not meant to be with me. What is the point of climbing a ladder if it’s leaning against “the wrong wall”, right..??

I know that odds are, She’s not gonna magically walk through that door, but this seems as nice a spot as any to just, sit and wait for a while, preparing myself on any side. Right now, I don’t know who she is, or, where or when We will meet. But, I think for the most part in my life, ultimately, I will only see what I want to see, when I’m ready to see it. And that’s all I’m gonna say to this very own subject…

Love Spit Love – Am I Wrong?

I’ve been listening for this song for quite a while for now. And, I really feel that I can relate closely with it. I think this song is a sad song, a bittersweet song, but it’s also a little optimistic. He’s letting go of something that needs to be let go of, it seems. And, he’s accepted that it’s over, it’s for the best. But, it’s still sad to have to leave it. Right? Am I close? or, Am I wrong?

I mean, it is about someone who is confused with life. This person is turning away from what they once believed in and trying to find new meaning in life. Well, It focuses on the uncertainty that we all feel sometimes.. The lyrics are quite powerful, such as : “Lay the blame on luck”, “You let life get in your way..”, etc. I think, We’ve ever done that in our life, don’t we..?? And, not to mention that the ballads melody is totally addictive..!!

When I hear this, my mind keep telling myself trying not to hold on to long, that can leave deep scars, that may not heal. Try to be strong for yourself, cause I am worth it. What I’ve been going through right now (whether career terms, love, etc), I know that these will all make sense some day..

Goodbye, lay the blame on luck..
Goodbye, Lay the blame on luck..
Goodbye, Lay the blame on luck..

Yep, Enjoy the song & video below.. Although, the song itself is way better from the video, but I hope you can enjoy it as well as me..

The Fray – “Never Say Never”

What’s the key to The Fray’s success? Songs you can relate to. And, The Fray return with the second single “Never Say Never”. I’ve been enamored by the piano-ballads stylings of this song since the very first time I heard. “Never Say Never” is such a masterpiece that present on the soundtrack of the film Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen..

The song is about a direct love between two people who are “pulling apart and coming together again and again”..

And yet, The Fray described it perfectly..

I think “Never Say Never” as “a syrupy ballad” that is nothing short of astonishing. There’s falsetto towards the end and its romantic, wistful and full of understated grace. Backed by strings and a swelling rhythm section, it’s a polished and positive step forward for The Fray..

Yap, enjoy the song & video…